A little catch up.

Hey blog, well it's a while since I've written anything on here so I thought I'd do a little 'round up' of what's been going on in my life for the last few months. Well me and my lovely Paul saw Katatonia in Manchester just before Christmas, was a brilliant gig and they played a great set with a wide range of tracks new and old! They were better than we expected actually, they are really underrated to be honest. We had an overnight stay in the Ox hotel as it was much needed. We also drank in the same ace rock bars plus 'The Font' of course, cheap cocktails what more could you possibly want? We also met up with a few of Paul's friends including 'Rob Roy' and Graham and his pals. Graham is an ace character and was drunk when he met us but he definitely kept us entertained throughout the evening. Good night all round though and I came out of the gig with a cool t-shirt and a great feeling cos we definitely experienced something great there. All we need now is for Katatonia to release a proper DVD as they play really well live despite what some may say! Shortly after the Manchester trip Paul and I celebrated our first year together on the 19th December :D Well what can I say about this? Apart from that I am so so happy still, he is everything I could want and a whole lot more. Our relationship is perfect and I could not ask for anything better. Paul, you are my lover, best friend, soul mate, drinking buddy and the person I can be myself with the most and be as random as I like even when we're in the middle of a cuddle or intimate moment ;) I love our times together, our nights out, our nights in...Just as long as we're together I don't care what we're doing. I love you so much, thankyou for been the best thing to ever happen to me here's to many more years together xxxx Then of course there was Christmas, it was alright I guess. I don't enjoy Christmas as much now mainly cos I have to work it :( Was fine but some people pissed me off at work when I wanted to get the hell out of there and they were taking their time! I got some cool gifts though, my favourite would be the alternative hamper I got from Paul especially the Amorphis DVD as they are definitely one of my most listened to bands at the moment :o) Boxing day was cool, spent it with Paul as was New year, had a few people round at Paul's house and we got a bit tipsy yay :) Had a few amazing times these past few weeks as well, celebrated our good friend Stu's birthday 'down the pub' well most of it was in the Leopard, amazing pub with a great jukebox and cool staff. Some of the regulars can be questionable at times but it just adds to the atmosphere. Loads of people came down for Stu's birthday and a good time was had by all. Friends of me and Paul who need to come out with us more often and just rock the hell out! And last but not least we come to my birthday week! Only had two full days at home during this time but hey when you turn thirty you kinda have to get drunk as much as possible and visit folk..so the week started with a lovely Monday at Paul's house with pizza, cuddles, rock tunes and South Park :) Tuesday me and my mum had a massive clear out in my room, busted a load of dust and threw out a load of shit I didn't want or need anymore! Had chinese too so that was cool :) Wednesday I visited my grandparents. Thursday was my actual birthday where I went to the lovely town of Nottingham with Paul. I just wanted to get away from it all for the night and find some cool bars to drink in another town, and that we did! Had lunch in the Pit & Pendulum with a few warm up pints, promising to return later on ;) Then we went to find our hotel which consisted of a taxi ride. We get there to find the doors locked and a phone number to call to get a code to get in, little strange but we did it. Nobody in the hotel either so we just found our key waiting for us on the desk and then went to find the room which was like the bleedin crystal maze as the rooms weren't in numerical order. Definitely the weirdest hotel we've stayed in but at least it was clean. We then ventured back into town on a 'posh bus' We visited the Old Angel which was an ace rock pub and reminded us a lot of the leopard and dog friendly too :) Staff seemed awesome and the regulars embraced our tunes which doesn't normally happen at home. We then went back to the Pit & Pendulum and took part in a cocktail drinking challenge to win a t-shirt, definitely easier than we thought! But we had completed that by 7.30 and felt a bit 'fucked' by then! Well the staff should know better than to give Paul a challenge they don't know him do they? hehehee! But we did it, we have the t-shirt to prove it and we won approval of the staff although they were probably thinking we're total fuckheads, and they are right lol! We then wobbled down to Mcdonalds, left there and got into a taxi asking him to take us to the Salutation pub that turned out to be around the corner so he kindly told us to get out and walk lol how rude? anyway another ace bar full of rock and metallers alike! We definitely felt like we belonged there. We asked people for directions to other places and then forgot them, as you do! So we left there and visited a dive called 'Turf Tavern' and then decided we were going to Rock City nightclub as there wasn't much else on offer at that time, this was after we'd visited a cocktail place that we were kind of whisked into by the promoters outside! After a very expensive cocktail we finally went to rock city, well at least we thought so..the bouncer was having a beef with someone or other so we weren't allowed in immediately so we went to a random sofa bar before returning back to Rock City. We got in at last and it was alright, FULL to the brim with students and not many rockers in sight but we still had some fun and got on the stage for Metallica lol! Day after was a complete write off day, hangovers, big bags and train rides do not mix, bleurgh!! Saturday I went to see my best friend in Sheffield and went out on the town with him, Dan and my cousin Emma..Top night apart from a few little mishaps but won't go into detail, glad I went though cos I miss Chris sometimes. And yep Sunday was another write off day! Spent Monday with Paul again and we shared some lovely moments <3 love you baby xxx So we finally get to Tuesday!! RONAN DAY!!!!!!!!!! I was so excited to be finally going to see one of my favourite people in the entire world (again) it was definitely long overdue. And what a gig it was, I went with my mum to Sheffield City Hall and it was an enjoyable evening. Brian Mcfadden supported and I was surprised how good he was to be honest, he threw in a couple of Westlife numbers but that was to be expected! He was hilarious as well and should probably be a comedian if his music career fails ;) We waited a bit longer and then out came Ronan! Wow what can I say? He was on top form, his voice made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up plus he looked amazing could not take my eyes off him! The setlist was amazing and I love the seven songs he chose from the new album 'Fires'. There was a great mix of old and new songs but a personal highlight for me was 'Close your eyes' as it's my current fave song by him I just love everything about it so was stoked to find out he was doing that one! He also touched on personal experiences and openly admitted he 'fucked up' and there were a few emotional moments during 'Scars' and 'Easy now my dear' but the show ended on a high with Life is a Rollercoaster! I can't believe how boring some of the crowd were though and some even left during Rollercoaster was like are you actually shitting me? One of Ronan's most well known songs and they fuck off? meh losers! Say what you like about Ronan but he is a brilliant performer and wears his heart on his sleeve. I am proud of him for coming so far and I am glad that he is happy again in his life as everyone deserves to be happy and live the life they wanna live! I came out with a tour programme, a live CD and some great memories, Roll on the Boyzone tour is all I can say! Rock and metal chick I may be but a piece of my heart still belongs to Ronan Keating, as much as I fight it I can't help loving him too! So in a nutshell that was my life for the past few months, of course I've been to work in between all of this but that isn't really worth a mention as most of them are messed up individuals lol! I am looking forward to the rest of 2013 including the gig in March that includes GOJIRA! My babe got me those tickets YAY! Roll on bloodstock 2013 and whatever else we end up going to. Looking forward to more times with Paul, my friends and family and just living the life the way I want, cos at the end of the day you only get one shot at it and I think I'm doing alright at the moment, peace out! xxx

Last few months in a nutshell...

Well since Bloodstock I have had lots of 'post festival blues' especially since I had to go back to work and carry on as normal, bit hard going from rocking out every day to going back to reality and serving assholes in a pub but there you go. Going to Bloodstock made me realise more and more that life isn't to be taken too seriously so since then I have tried to have as much fun as possible in my spare time, mainly with my gorgeous Paul. I actually feel lucky and in love every day of my life and have done for the last ten months and six days :) Life at the moment just feels so wonderful and sharing it with such a special man makes me smile like never before, never thought I could feel this way ever but it just feels so so good. When I have a bad day at work I take a step back and think hey it's not bad because I'm in an amazing relationship and nothing can bring me down. Suddenly the small shit doesn't matter and life is beautiful and it will take a lot to upset me right now. I let small shit get to me sometimes but I soon get over it when I see Paul, everything just feels right with the world again! After a cuddle everything is good again :) So after bloodstock Paul and I have done some cool stuff, usually involved us getting drunk but hey what's new? Had some days/nights out on the drink. One Friday we met up with a few more friends and went out for 'a few quiet drinks' didn't quite end that way, it consisted of buying cocktail jugs, shots, spirits..you name it we drank it! Safe to say I was dying the following day at work but it won't be the first time and certainly not the last. Had a few occasions like that including going Bowling yesterday and then going on a bender afterwards, we skipped the pub lunch and went to the 'pub' instead so to speak. But it may seem like an average Monday or Tuesday to most but for us we always seem to have some random encounter or go in some random pub we don't usually visit, Corner Pin included in this. But I love it cause we just keep it real just drinking and upsetting the locals with our jukebox choices, but come on now we do indeed rock, shame everyone else doesn't see it that way but fuck em ya know? A main highlight for me was just a few weeks ago when it was Paul's birthday, those two days were amazing..Spending his actual birthday with him, seeing his face when he opened the gifts I'd bought him, the same gifts I had put thought and care into over a course of months. He instantly loved them and this made me happy. To me that was the best gift of all, I enjoy giving presents more than receiving them sometimes! We had a great night and we chatted, drank and laughed until the early hours. The next day was even better, yes Full Moon dog festival at the Cockpit in Leeds. We mainly went to see Orange goblin but before there were some great metal bands as well. Was a great night but also a great day as Paul and I decided to ditch the bands in the day time and go off and explore some more drinking establishments in Leeds so we found one of our local Leeds haunts, Carpe diem! Was quite lively in there with the Saturday afternoon drunks fighting among themselves but also great for us cos we had cocktail jugs and successfully got smashed before visiting another cool pub shaped like a boat. We then headed back to the Cockpit in time for Orange goblin who were amazing. Only downside was been right on the barrier and getting squashed by some morons and falling over when aiding the crowd surfers. But we did get Ben Ward leaning over us so that was a highlight..kind of, if your into sweaty rockers in your face that is! Cool experience though but next time I say "lets go to the front" may think about it first cos we know what happens now. Got very smashed that night and headed back to Donny where everyone else seemed to be wrecked and carrying their shoes round cos they can't walk in them lol! Had another cool time when we went to visit Lou and Dave in Uttoxeter. Which only can be described as more drunkenness involving rum, attack of the doggies, train drunkeness and lastly urrrghhhh...Paul knows what I mean lol ;) We can definitely blame the herbal schanapps but I actually don't think its meant to be polished off in the same day as a bottle of rum! Great times though and great friends :) Other things that have happened in my life are Ronan releasing an amazing new album and him generally just been gorgeous and amazing again. Discovering more and more cool metal music on band camp and through Paul. New boss at work who is really nice but seems to be influenced by the chavs (that needs to stop asap) But mainly falling more and more in love as each day passes. It will soon be a year for us two but what a year its been, looking forward to 2013 and the things we have planned already are gonna rock the socks off anything else :D..Katatonia, Ronan gig (for me) Kin hell fest, bloodstock and anything else in between! I feel so lucky and blessed to share all of these times with my boyfriend, lover, partner in crime, soul mate..and that happens to be the same person I love you so much Paul you are my world <3 I may be 30 in January but I still feel young, age is only a number after all, I will continue to do what I do cos I love it! I stay true to myself and don't let other people rule me. Rock on dudes!! Sorry for the randomness but hey that's how I roll xxx

These are my people this is my crowd..

Yo there, well as some of you know I attended Bloodstock Open air festival over the weekend, well what can I say? It was AMAZING I loved every second of it! Made it even special that I got to spend it with my gorgeous boyfriend <3 We arrived on Thursday in true metal fashion by Paul's mum taking us in the car, rock and roll right? like totally dude! So Me, Paul and Jade one of Paul's good friends arrived on the selected camp site 'Midgard' in the blazing sun around 1pm after the mammoth task of hauling the bags and the tents across the field, we camped in an okay spot among some of Jade's friends who turned out to be the best camp site drinking buddies ever..We got the tent up after about 15 minutes of struggling and got help from Chris another friend of Jade's by him lending us his mallet to bash the pegs in! So then we sat down and admired our work which can only be later described as a 'bit of a bodge up job' as the tent wasn't straight but hey it was up, it was secure so we then sat down for a well deserved beer whilst awaiting on Paul's friend Lou to arrive with her two young children. They soon arrived and I instantly felt a bond with these people. I know Lou means a lot to Paul and therefore I knew she'd be lovely as he is an amazing judge of character and wouldn't just be friends with anybody! So we helped them set up camp near us, sat down for a chat with them before entering the 'arena' Which consisted of ace market stalls selling any rock merchandise you could ever want, stages, fairground rides, drinking establishments,food stalls, an eco toilet known as 'pootopia' plus much much more. We bought chairs cos we realised we couldn't stand sitting on the floor all weekend plus got some free amusing hats! Thursday night was pretty much spent drinking in the bar and on the camp site..meeting random people in both. We also realised nearby campers were wannabe wrestlers and the males in that camp had all adapted Hulk Hogan style voices and we did wonder what their real voices sounded like, great bunch of guys though and a lot of fun! TBH it's weird been back home now and not hearing wrestler impressions going on into the early hours. So Friday Paul and I get up around 7 as we're too excited to sleep! We go for an early morning stroll into the arena to discover an amazing little cafe called 'Mr Teas' selling coffee, tea, cakes and alcoholic hot drinks too including Baileys hot chocolate which is to die for and definitely hit the spot on those hangover mornings let me tell you! Quaint little place that played new ages hippie music but all in all a great hang out spot for many festival goers alike with sore heads! We then went to pay Paul's friend Graham a visit and had a few early morning beers with him and everyone on his camp that seemed to consist of about 20 people, all sat in the sun blasting out heavy metal on a CD player powered by a car battery! Not sure how safe that was but hey it was cool..Some random ones in that camp too including a guy drinking out of a teapot but all in all amazing folk whom we kept on bumping into throughout the weekend! Friday was an epic day apart from it been WAY too hot I still have the sunburn to prove it, saw a few bands this day too including Grand Magus, Watain and Bememoth..The latter 2 are not my cup of tea as I don't really listen to Black metal as such but I did enjoy what they did and Waitain's fire on stage was epic! Alex, Lou and Dave's boy really got into them and was embracing them by head banging and doing the devil horns! definitely the coolest child ever, all kids need to be like this tbh lol! Went to bed early this night as the heat had taken it out of me plus I got to sleep in Lou's tent as she decided she was taking the kids home for the night as they lives locally plus she was bringing her husband Dave back the next day..So got an okay nights sleep and played guard dog for Lou's tent also! Woke up on Saturday and decided I was going to take a shower..Had to queue for almost an hour for a shower and pay £3 but it was SO worth it..I am a typical girl and am not the best camper and definitely couldn't leave my hair for so long without washing it so I decided to be dedicated and stand in that damn queue cos I would feel the benefits after and I really did! Saturday was my favourite day I felt good, I felt refreshed from the sleep and I got drunker than any other day too woohoo! Saw some brilliant bands as well including Testament and Machine head! Machine Head were fucking epic and was a personal highlight for me when they performed 'A thousand lies' from the Burn my eyes album, people got to vote on facebook for what tracks they wanted them to perform from said album and am SO glad that one got chosen as it's been a firm favourite of mine for years so yep I went a little bad, bounced and banged my head in true metal fashion. People diss Machine Head but for me they are amazing and have been a favourite band of mine for years. Third time I've seen them and they were as brilliant as ever! LET FREEDOM RING WITH THE SHOTGUN BLAST! indeed.. I also related to Robb Flynn's speech about how you meet certain people in life like us guys in the crowd who appreciate true metal and rock music and how we're the best people in the world, a rare breed. Our music means so much and we are so passionate about it he was right in everything he said, what a guy! Afterwards Paul and I tried out the eco shitter which was a treat tbh after spending time in festival toilets was nice to go in a loo with toilet paper and cleanliness! Just make sure you pour the cup of sawdust down the hole when your done ;) Went down to the 'Sophie tent' for a while with Lou and Dave to see the Metal DJ's who were fucking boss! Got very drunk with Paul and we shared loads of soppy moments in the middle of the tent but all worth it I love you so much babe <3 Then we stayed up til 4ish on the campsite with my buddies having a laugh and also got joined by a guy dressed as santa which was erm, odd! Saturday night was my favourite night, random encounters all round and a great atmosphere everyone was in high spirits! Sunday was a chilled day for us all, only band I went down to the stage to see was Paradise Lost, they were brilliant as usual and performed many of their new songs but mixed it up with some old. Nick Holmes dry humour was as present as ever I love that guy's fuck everything attitude he should have his own stage show he's hilarious plus an amazing singer..I love this band as a whole and I also like how the guitarists always look so happy when they play! Personal highlights were 'In this we dwell' from the new album and of course 'Just say words' Alice Cooper also played this day we saw most of his set from the bar as you can see the stage from there but we were too tired to go down and watch him, sort of regret that now but at the same time we were all shattered and needed to chill! We then said goodbye to Lou, Dave and Alex with a heavy heart but promised we'd all get together again soon for more fun times! Paul and I chilled again on the camp site and then realised we were too tired to stay up, but apparently we missed the epic wrestling battles and Tent man who was fighting in the ring with the wrester wannabes! Tent man is now a legend in his own right! Seems the entire camp site thought they were wrestlers of some kind but it did make it enjoyable as there were several matches going on every night and random people having jousting sessions dressed up in carlsberg boxes with an axe made from cans, crazy folk but very funny! Only regrets I had this day was missing Tent man and maybe going down the front for a while to see Alice Cooper but was a good day all the same.. Monday morning we got up, packed up our things etc..well we decided to leave the tent there and the chairs as they wouldn't go in the small car. Even packing up was fun, one guy got inside his tent and started walking away with it..And the number of pop up tents flying past us was unreal cos nobody could be arsed to put them away as they are really difficult to get down again! So in the end it turned out the 'wrestler guys' decided to cut holes in one and go flintstones style in it and run around as if the tent grew legs! Like I say never a dull moment..We then decided to 'set our tent free' once we'd taken our things out but it wasn't having it so it took a beating from said guys and it learned its lesson BAD TENT! Shortly after we left the camp site feeling sad bloodstock was over but also excited by the fact we'd soon be in a comfy bed and having a hot shower! I enjoyed every minute of this festival and can't wait to return next year even if I don't know many bands on the line up like this year! It was my first festival camping and I couldn't have asked for anything better tbh Would like to thank the people esp my wonderful boyfriend Paul. I love you so much babe thankyou for everything, Bloodstock was as wonderful as you said it would be I have loved our time together and it feels wrong been here without you. Dave, Lou, Tess and Alex..Have never met such a lovely family, you guys rule and I can see why Paul loves you so much you are truly brilliant people and can't wait to see you again soon :D I also can't forget our little camp site and the people around us..Jade obviously and her friends Chris, Sarah, Lee and John whom we shared many laughs with over the nights.. Would like to make a huge shout out to all the other people we chatted to in the bars, in the crowd, in the merch stands you are all wonderful. People there were just so friendly and I wish I could bring all of those people back here to hang out with. I have never been in a place where I have truly felt I belonged until last weekend, just goes to show there are people out there like myself who have once felt awkward in normal society but when we all get together in this field something special definitely does happen and its magical, I miss it already! Roll on 2013 cos I'll definitely be back :D peace out folks and if you like metal music get yourself to BOA 2013 you'll not regret it trust me. So so glad I took the plunge and went. It does show you that you need to do certain things in life to feel truly alive and this was by far the best weekend of my life. I have a full leg of insect bites, a sunburnt face and a bit of a hangover still..these things will soon fade away but the memories I have gained will last a lifetime!

If I hadn't made me, I would've been made somehow

There come's a time in your life when you hear a particular album and it changes your life for good! Well those of you who know me know that Incubus are my favourite band in the entire universe, I worship them.. I love everything about them, their creative input into absolutely everything they touch, their energy, their live shows, Brandon Boyd's lyrics, their originality, the way they are insanely good musicians, Brandon Boyd in general, that man's voice has the ability to send shivers down my spine! I love how every single album has evolved and each one has something different about it. There is definitely an album for every single mood and not many bands out there can do that. I may talk about the others in future but for now I am going to talk about 'Make yourself'

Right from the beginning track 'Privilege' you instantly get a feeling this album is gonna rock the entire way through.. Words in this song that strike me are "The day you were born, you were born free that is your privilege" I try and live by those words cause you really are free to do what you want, nobody should try and tell you what to do! Then we go into 'Nowhere fast' totally amazing song again with lyrics I relate to so much..then we have 'Consequence' Well some of you know Consequence is my favourite Incubus song..I just love everything about it and the words grab me. Every time I hear Brandon sing it I know he is speaking from a personal experience from when he was shit on by his ex basically, he is one of those artists that puts his all into every single performance and with this song in particular he really wears his heart on his sleeve.. well you can hear for yourself anyway. Track 4 'The Warmth' has always been a firm favourite of mine as well, this album just gets better as it goes on if I'm honest..Words that grab me here are obviously "Don't let the world bring you down not everything here is that fucked up and cold" again another motto to live life by! It's not just the lyrics that take me somewhere else with this track just the whole vibe of the song, the sounds at the beginning and the whole creativity behind it is just so unique :) Then some more strong tracks are 'When it comes' 'Stellar' and of course the amazing 'Make yourself' "and if I fuck me I'll fuck me in my own way" Indeed! I love that line and especially love screaming it out if I'm in a pissed off mood ;) we then have 'Drive' Obviously the massive single off this record but quite rightly so, great lyrics, great video and good positive vibes all around! But I urge you if you know this song and don't know the rest of the album then BUY IT! you won't be disappointed cause if you think Drive is good then you ain't heard nothing yet! We then go onto 'Clean' 'Battlestar Scrahlactica' and 'I miss you' Out of those three I miss you is my favourite is has meaningful lyrics and is just gorgeous basically! And then of course 'Pardon me' Which is another clear favourite of mine, and Incubus fans in general! Just such an amazing song and a crowd pleaser..I just love belting out "PARDON ME WHILE I BURST INTO FLAMES" on the odd occasion ;) then the album is finished off beautifully with 'Out from Under' So all in all this album is complete perfection, even if you aren't into rock as such there is definitely something for everyone in this album it has high moments, low moments and definitely takes you on a spiritual journey. Mr Boyd and the rest of the band get better with every listen that's for sure! go ahead what are you waiting for? a Written invitation?

I will be doing a few more of these life changing album reviews, I have so many to go at right now so stay tuned and much love for now xxx

People = Shit

Do you ever look around you, look at people and go what the fuck? I myself am one of these who observes things and rarely voices my opinion. Probably where I go wrong sometimes and get walked all over but I am also a firm believer that you don't always need to be heard just for the sake of it. Last night I was browsing through a few work colleagues time lines on facebook and looked back to 2008 where some of these 'so called managers' looked happy back then, ya know full of life? Out enjoying themselves and doing what they loved. Now I see them at work as these 'somebodies' or wannabes more like..It's like are you REALLY happy? Seems they have become this higher position at work and forgotten who they are almost and rarely do the things they like anymore cos they gotta work an extra shift or some shit the next day. Not saying they don't ever enjoy themselves but I have seen these people change and I'm not sure its been for the better either, I can see them questioning themselves half the time and asking do I really wanna do this? Fuck that man! I mean I could have been team leader a number of times cause I know myself how good I am but don't need to be told that. I get on with it and keep my head down 90% of the time, sure there are occasions when I have a whine or a bitch but that's usually my time of month or I get put on sweets five times a week, hmm indeed! All I really care about is getting paid at the end of the week and doing the things I like. I am still happy as I ever was, sure I hate my job a hell of a lot of the time but it's not the be all and end all of my life, it does not consume me and takes over my entire life! Who cares about been a big wheel down at Woodfield farm? Especially when you have rock music, a few true friends and an amazing boyfriend plus an amazing festival to look forward to :) After bloodstock I am going to look for something new though as I'm not sure how much more I can take, it's not so much the job its just a case of too many chiefs not enough indians, the managers and team leaders contradict themselves so often and go crying to one another if someone puts a foot wrong, ffs get a grip and deal with it yourself! I'm even bored of the whole Ronan fan thing. Sure it's exciting he has a new song and album out but I get bored of posts about plugging the single etc! I should probably be more excited and doing my bit too but thing is, I can't be arsed if I'm honest! Sure he's gorgeous, sure he's hot and has an amazing voice and I will always adore him but I have other priorities at the moment. I think it's the annoying fans that annoy me more, not Ronan, he's the innocent one in all of this. I just think these women need to focus more on their own lives instead of someone else's. Ronan made his own mistakes and is paying for them. I can't actually feel sorry for him to be honest he made his own bed so he has to face the consequences! People in general are kinda shit too, since when did society get so weird? Women obsessing over a fucking fictional bloke in a book, music sounding all the same in the charts because 'the man' says its cool does not mean you have to think that too. Me myself I do not idolise the likes of Rhianna, Katie Price, Katy Perry or whoever the fuck else. I like my idols to be free spirited and actually have some talent! I do not like people who are full of themselves, loud and opinionated I like people to be themselves and follow their own path. I believe I do okay in life I am myself so really sorry if that doesn't fit your standards. At the grand old age of 29 you tend to stop caring so much. I should probably not feel so annoyed by things but I can't help it. I am an over thinker and a worrier at times and it's not something you can shake off so easily half the time!

You're not hardcore unless you live hardcore..

Hey blog it's been a while right? Well not really had much to talk about been doing the usual which normally consists of working, sleeping and seeing my lovely boyfriend in between all of that. But last week on the same week as the Queens diamond Jubilee I had the week off work, and WHAT a week it was. Started off on Monday with a 'chill day' where I had one of my usual internet days and then at night I watched some of the Jubilee concert and cringed at it and the shit acts they had playing, Cliff Richard..I mean really?? Yeah the less said about that concert the better hmmm. But Tuesday was a day of awesomeness..Me and Paul headed off to Manchester yet again, stayed in the same cool hotel and in between arriving and sleeping we did our usual thing which usually involves getting stupidly drunk, taking over juke boxes in every pub we go in and generally just having a brilliant time rocking out in each others company! We were however disappointed with the club we visited last time 'Satans hollow' It was just well...shite! Don't know why it seemed so much more appealing last time, guess we were still on a high from seeing Shinedown? But yeah no idea why the music was so crap and all the 'kids' were standing in one place not moving a muscle, really odd! So we decided to abandon ship and head back to the Salisbury which involved more drinking, talking to random Swedish bloke and more epic juke box take-over-ness! So yeah we were pretty wrecked when we got back to our room and almost had a fight with a pringles machine on the way! Next day we were pretty damn hungover but was so worth it. Always love my time with Paul he is my best friend, lover, partner in crime, fellow music soul-mate..all of those things are more.. I love you baby <3 So Wednesday was pretty much a rule out anything day, apart from going for a meal and then getting on a train home, Paul stayed on a few days with an old friend.. Thursday was a cool day too even though my insides still felt like they didn't belong to me. I did a spot of shopping and then met up with a good friend of mine Sam! I recently got back in touch with her and I'm so glad as she is one of my true friends, someone who has always been there for me and is also on my wavelength and that is so hard to find nowadays! We went for coffee and had a catch up so was lovely to see her :-) Need to see more of her but she works insane shifts, worse than mine but she'll be glad when she starts her new job and does more normal hours! Then we get to Friday, well this was the day I finally got to see Chris, okay I may have moaned about him in previous entries about him not getting in contact etc, but I take that back now as we had such a great time together getting drunk like the old days! Was so happy it was just me and him that went out, as much as I adore Dan his partner it was good to have a 'me and Chris night' and boy did we have fun! Drank vodka until the next morning in a gay club in Sheffield, not my usual music but I put up with it for him! Was like we'd never been apart for 7 months I was so happy to be with him again and catch up, he hasn't changed a bit! Nobody can replace this guy as my best friend not many people 'get me' but he does, although he questions my taste in music but I can say the same about him ;) He is also happy I have found my true love and kept asking me when the wedding or having a baby is, erm steady on there Christopher lol! I have told him to just text me sometimes even though we can't see each other like in the past we can still be in contact I have missed him in my life so much, to the point where it hurt me! But yep Saturday was another hangover day, it wasn't as bad as the one on Wednesday it was more tiredness, but that is what happens when you go out until 5am hmmm yeah, no sympathy? didn't think so.. Had another 'chill day' on Sunday and then spent the night with my gorgeous Paul! Just watching dvds, playing x box and watching the inbetweeners. Sometimes the simple days when we're together are my favourite just cuddling, kissing, playing awesome music and hanging out together, these are my favourite times and it was definitely the perfect end to an amazing week off. I feel so much love for this amazing man I miss him already! All I can say is roll on 7 weeks time when we get to rock our asses of at Bloodstock open air festival! I have never done a weekend festival before so I'm mainly going for the experience but Alice Cooper and Machine head headlining does help :-D In conclusion I have learned that my true friends do not work with me, I can probably count them on one hand..I treasure the good times I have with them and can't wait for many more. But most of all I feel so lucky and blessed to be in such a beautiful relationship with somebody who truly loves me and of course the feeling is mutual! I love everything we are, everything we're about and the good times we have, they mean the world to me! Doing my crappy job for the next 7 weeks will be so worth everything, Do not let your job consume who you are its just something I 'do' its not who I am. What I wrote about is who I am and what I'm about! Fuck the masses we are who we are with awesome taste in everything! Do not follow the crowd be your own person, over and out for now!

This is who I am, this is what I do..

So on Tuesday me and my amazing boyfriend went on one of our epic adventures but this time a little closer to home, in Sheffield! The main purpose was to see one of our favourite bands 'Paradise Lost' later on but we decided to head to Sheffield at lunch time so yep that involved lots of drinking of course! We started off in a few cool bars near the station including 'The globe' which seemed to be one of the main student bars. Was cool though everybody seemed to be eating so we thought we'd grab a bite there too along with some cheap pints and a cocktail jug :p. We also took over in our usual style by putting some kick ass tunes on the jukebox which is kind of our thing lol! So yeah got to about 3pm so we decided to head further afield away from the erm station! We went in a few more cool places, yet another student bar plus an amazing bar I've been to a lot called 'the Old house' which specialises in beers and awesome cocktails! Couldn't leave without having a 'spiced zombie' I love rum anyway particularly Sailor Jerrys, have had that one in the past and knew it was yummy! So of course we had one and Paul well he doesn't turn down booze so I treated us to one of the elaborate cocktails where they set the lime on fire, I was warned not to put the straws in right away cos they'd set on fire haha! If your in Sheffield I suggest you try one (well in fact my grandma paid cause she gave me some pocket money the day before hehe so yep cheers grandma!!) So after we left there we were pretty drunk so had some chips to soak up some of the booze, we had a quick drink next to the venue then decided we'd better go stand outside in the queue for 20 minutes to sober us up lol! Did get some randomer to take a picture of us though so all good :) I really like this one even though I was kinda battered by now ;) Shows us looking bad ass ;) and also reflects how happy we are :)

We then went in, purchased a Paradise Lost t-shirt, that are both identical so yeah when we go out together now we have to check first if we're wearing it in case we're in fear of looking like twins! We then grabbed a beer, Met up with Paul's friend Stefan and his pal Laura who are both ace! We saw the first support band 'Vreid' Who are a Norwegian Black metal band. Not my usual cup of tea as I don't usually like 'screamy vocals' all the way through and absolutely hated hearing them on CD but live they were different I had a bit of a head-bang to them just a shame the crowd that were there to see them sucked I mean come on they weren't that bad! Then came Insomnium, a metal band from Finland.. who I felt the same about and wasn't sure if I'd enjoy them but boy was I wrong they kicked ass and were all amazing musicians! I also got a Vreid Guitar pick which am sure after thinking about it I'm pretty sure the bassist from Paradise Lost picked it up gave to me cos I recognised him when he went on stage with the band, so maybe he was supporting Vreid and is obviously more anoymous than say Nick Holmes the lead singer of PL! Very nice of him I must say as I never get anything cool like that at gigs! We then decided when most of the crowd headed to the bar that we were gonna get a spot near the front for Paradise Lost coming on so that we did. We were second row from the barrier and it was a pretty ace spot I have to say could see everything well :) Paradise Lost came on shortly after and did not disappoint!! Their setlist was a good mix of all their long career and reflected them really well and what they're about! My highlights were Fear of Impending hell, Soul Courageous, One Second, Erased and Symbol of life but it was all fucking awesome!! Only downside was that Nick's vocals were drowned out by the music I mean he has such an amazing diverse voice it would have been better if they turned the vocals up a little but other than that and a sore neck from moving my head I have absolutely no complaints whatsoever! So glad I got the tickets for me and Paul, a pretty awesome valentines gift for my babe I must say :D After the gig we were still buzzing and walked past the 'Devonshire cat' which is the pre gig pub and who did we spot quietly having a beer? 2 guys from Insomnium so us been us went in to say hi! I'm sure they thought who the fuck are these 2 looneys? Paul even offered to buy them a beer but they were like no we have to go! lol! they were nice though and appreciated it when we told them how amazing they were. Did make me laugh how me and Paul went all fangirl-ish on them and didn't really know what to say but cool all the same! we then got a bit lost and needed to get the last train home so we hopped in a taxi as it was for the best, but then realised we had 45 mins to kill so went back to The globe and necked some Jagerbombs as we saw they were 5 for £10 crazy? yes we are! We arrived back in Doncaster about midnight but didn't want to go home yet so we went in search of Beer and what we found wasn't disappointing! we found Vintage rock bar was still open which is one of our regular haunts anyway and even better we got to stay later as the place was buzzing til like 2am! We're pretty friendly with the staff in there anyway so they let us stay as we're cool and we spend money in there so all in all it ended the day pretty well, we also hung with Stefan some more who is an awesome guy! Next day me and Paul just vegetated pretty much for the whole day. Things like this do show me though that there is more to life than my mundane job, it's just something I do to earn money for the cool times like this! I have also learned that some bands can surprise you live even though I wasn't sure of them at first..this is what life is about, spending time with the people you love and generally just having a rocking time! I also recommend Paradise Lost to anyone who likes Metal or just genuine rock music, they aren't too heavy or have harsh vocals like some bands they're a great bunch of musicians who deserve more credit for what they do! Screw all this chart bollocks this is where it's at! Here are some pictures from the gig that turned out okay...

Here's to many more great times in 2012 with my lovely boyfriend and people that actually want to hang out with me :)I'm not usually the most 'sociable' person, people make me feel uneasy at the best of times but put me with like minded people then I don't shut up! Tuesday was definitely a reflection of the real me! Plus there is more to life than Ronan Keating I now realise this more and more..Just a shame some others don't see things my way and feel the need to follow his every move!